This is a personal story shared for informational purposes only. I am not making any medical claims, diagnoses, or treatments in this post, merely sharing my own personal experience. There may be affiliate links present in this post. This means I may earn a commission should you choose to make a purchase from my link. I love these companies and I think you will too! Thank you for your continued support.

I am 41 years old and I am pregnant. I’m sure the first thing that pops into most people’s heads when reading this is “Surprise!”, but you would be wrong. This pregnancy was not a surprise at all to us, rather it has been long sought after. Getting here has been a long, hard journey and I’d like to share some of it with you.

Why? Because I want to give you HOPE! My story may not be all that uncommon. Maybe you’re like me, thinking that something is wrong with you, that you’re broken and there’s just nothing you can do about it. Maybe you’re feeling afraid or desperate, jealous of all the seemingly easy pregnancies around you. Maybe you don’t realize that there are things that you can do to support your reproductive system and improve your fertility. Simple things like changing out household products, changing your diet, reducing stress, and getting enough sleep. Maybe you’ve got some deep, dark emotional baggage that you’ve been carrying around for way to long and it’s time to get rid of it. (I sure was!) Maybe your body needs a few supplements to give it a boost. But you just don’t know because no one has ever mentioned it.

So I’m mentioning it. Friend, if you’re anything like me, you are NOT a lost cause. Our bodies have the amazing capability of healing themselves, you just have to give them the right tools. I would love to help put those tools in your hands beginning with my story.

My story starts sixteen years ago, when my husband and I decided we were ready to start growing our family. We had always known that we wanted children, but now the time was right. It didn’t take long before I saw those two pink lines on a pregnancy test. We were thrilled and couldn’t wait to tell our family and friends. We shared the news and eagerly awaited our first doctor’s appointment.

I spotted a bit, but as this was very different from my normal cycle I really wasn’t concerned. But then my back started hurting. Being pregnant, I knew I had to be careful with medications, so I really didn’t want to take anything for it. It got to the point where laying down in bed was impossible due to the pain. The best I could manage was sleeping upright in the recliner. I broke down and called the nurse to see if there was anything I could take because I was so uncomfortable. Tylenol was it. And I was reassured that back pain was normal. I would see the doctor soon.

Soon came. I was ushered into the waiting room after signing in and told to pee in a cup. Pretty standard stuff. When my name was finally called I was ushered into a room and waited. The doctor came in and told us rather bluntly that my urine test was negative. She then said something about waiting on blood test results and left the room in a hurry. My husband and I were worried, but hopeful that there was just something wrong with the urine test. I was spotting again, but again it was very different from my normal cycle. The minutes seemed to tick by endlessly. Eventually the doc came back in, told us the blood test was also negative and left us to grieve. Somehow we made it back to the car and safely home. Then came the hard task of telling those we had already shared with. The baby was gone. I had miscarried.

Even after 16 years, the pain of that moment is still intense and in many ways that was only the beginning of our story. Perhaps you have one that is similar.

After that came a long spell of nothing. No more strange periods. No more pink lines. Eventually my husband asked about going back to the doctor. I was reluctant, afraid that I was the problem. I guess part of me was convinced that I was broken and the miscarriage was my fault. But at least I wasn’t the only one who was afraid, and so it didn’t take much convincing on his part to get me to agree to get checked out. Again with the tests. His came back with a low count, mine with low progesterone. We got put on a few rounds of Clomid (UH, I HATED how that stuff made me feel!!) and progesterone and told when the optimal times to try were. (Also miserable. Don’t recommend. Nothing kills the mood like feeling obligated.) After several months of crying at the drop of a hat, (I mean, I’m already a crier, but this was ridiculous.) and following a schedule we still had a big, fat nothing. The doctor informed us there was nothing else she could do, we would have to go to a specialist.

We talked about it, but we really weren’t interested. A specialist meant harsher drugs, tighter schedules, more interventions, and the increased possibility of multiples. With that possibility came the recommendations of selective abortions if there were to many embryos implanted. We just didn’t even want to go there.

Adoption had always kind of been in the back of our minds. It was just kind of one of those, “Well if we can’t have kids we can always adopt.” sort of things. We’d mentioned it in the past but hasn’t really pursued it at all. Now we began pursuing that option in earnest. I researched adoption like crazy. Foreign. Domestic. Private. State. Agency. Directed. Open. Closed. Semi-open. I even learned about embryo adoption, though we ruled that one out pretty early since we were unsure if I could even carry a pregnancy to term. We decided that we wanted to work with an agency within our state and we really wanted to adopt a newborn, because after all if we were starting this whole parenting thing we might as well begin at the beginning.

We ended up working with a couple of different agencies. The whole process was long, and it’s another story for another day. Suffice it to say we finally ended up adopting a beautiful little girl. It had been 7 years since the miscarriage.

After a couple of years we decided we wanted to try adopting again. The process seemed much quicker this time, and before we knew it we had a son! Our hands and hearts were full.

During all this time we never really stopped trying to get pregnant ourselves. We took no preventative measures. Every month brought with it the little disappointment of another period. We were just leaving things in God’s hands. I’ll call it passively trying, because we certainly weren’t doing anything overly active. We were content with the way things were, and as they continued to be. Friends and family had stopped “expecting” us to get pregnant long ago. They knew our struggles and it just didn’t look like it would ever be in the cards. After all, we have 2 beautiful children. A boy and a girl. Life was good.

During this time I started discovering essential oils and natural medicine. It was a whole new world for me! Wow, I was amazed at how these little bottles of plant juice affected my body even better than the over the counter medications I was using. I started learning from others about toxins present in my home: SLS, phthalates, triclosan, formaldehyde, and other chemicals that were common in things like soaps, cleaners, detergents, candles, and other things around the house. I learned how these chemicals were potentially affecting my hormones! I learned about xenoestrogens and how they commonly leach out of plastics and into foods. . . again affecting hormones.

So I started making changes. I started getting rid of the plastics and using glass or stainless steel containers instead. I started trading out my soaps, shampoos, detergents, candles, and cleaners for ones that were made from natural ingredients instead of all the chemicals. I started using targeted essential oils and supplements to help balance my hormones. It made a difference! My cycles went from extremely painful affairs to almost completely pain free.

And then, the unexpected. A light period. Morning nausea. Very sensitive chest. Wait, was this even possible?! We waited. We certainly didn’t want to spread the news of a miracle pregnancy only to have to share another miscarriage again. After my last experience, I really didn’t want to see another doctor. I didn’t really know any of them anyway. We’d moved, so my last doctor wasn’t even an option. So I started researching midwives in the area. I picked one and made an appointment. I was still spotting lightly, but there was no back pain. At my appointment the midwife became concerned. She said she really couldn’t feel my uterus and when she checked with the dopplar, she couldn’t find a heartbeat either. She recommended I get an ultrasound with the local pregnancy center. I did. And again, my uterus was empty. Another miscarriage. We grieved silently this time since we had never shared the news of this pregnancy. That was 4 years ago. And as much as it hurt, it gave me hope as well. Maybe I wasn’t as broken as I thought. Maybe I could carry a child to term. Maybe. . . maybe our family wasn’t done growing.

Life continued on. The kids grew. I decided to go back to school and pursue becoming a naturopath. I had been learning more and more about how our bodies work and how they were designed to interact with nature and it was just fascinating. I found myself talking about essential oils and natural products constantly to friends, family, and anyone else that would listen. I studied hard and became a Certified Natural Health Professional. Started Chrysalis Natural Health. Began my second course of study to become a Certified Holistic Health Professional. Got a crazy idea.

What if we stopped being passive and actively tried to become pregnant? I was learning so much, what if we put it into practice? So my husband and I talked it over. We aren’t so young as we used to be anymore. We’re both in our 40s. Is this really something we wanted to actively pursue? It was.

Research mode again. I dug deeper into the reproductive system, especially in supporting one that was older. I found supplements that made sense for us. I upped our antioxidants through a supplement called NingXia Red, and upped our Vitamin C, Vitamin D, and B vitamins. (You can find my favorites here.) [I hesitate here to name other very specific supplements that we used, because what was very appropriate for me may not be appropriate for you. Every body has different needs.] Because of cell turnover and maturation rates it would be at least 3 months before any changes would be seen. As I started taking these supplements and making these changes, for the first time in my life I knew when I ovulated without the help of a test. Ovulation pain is a thing.

And then, it happened. We got pregnant very quickly once we started trying again. With our long history, we decided to wait to share the news. Gun shy I suppose. But here we are, almost halfway through with our little one set to make an appearance early next year.

Miracles do happen. Big, supernatural, only God miracles are still a thing. But sometimes, God chooses to work through everyday, normal things instead. So while this pregnancy is a miracle in the sense that all pregnancies are, it wasn’t supernatural. This pregnancy happened through the healing that God provides through things present here on the Earth, which brings us back around to HOPE. If a 41 year old who has struggled with infertility for 16 years can find healing using the natural, God given things of this world, maybe you can too. I’d love to help you find out.

Please, contact us today to schedule your appointment. Check our Events page for our next Natural Fertility Webinar. I believe healing can be as simple as giving your body what it needs and then letting it do its thing.

Jessica Meades